Signs of an Abusive Relationship and Advice for Victims

Signs of an abusive relationship may include both emotional and physical abuse.

Here is a list of the most common signs of abuse in a relationship:

  • Short temper, threatening looks/gestures, or
    physical violence.
  • Ungrounded jealousy, accusations, and
    possessive behavior.
  • Cutting off your social contacts, friends, and family members.
  • Keeping track of your time and/or "checking
    up" on your activities and whereabouts.
  • Discouraging you from social interactions,
    work, and hobbies.
  • Demanding you to remain home.
  • Sexual pressure (demanding or denying sex).
  • Controlling all finances and forcing you to account for every penny you spend.
  • Giving you an allowance.
  • Making all the important decisions without you.
  • Destroying or confiscating your personal property.
  • Smashing, throwing or hitting things.
  • Displaying weapons, threatening the use of weapons.
  • Threatening to hurt your pets, you or your children.
  • Threatening to take your children away.
  • Calling you names, ridiculing, shaming, or humiliating you privately or in public.
  • Playing mind games (interrogating, staying silent for long periods of time).
  • Denying the abuse, or saying that is was not that bad.
  • Blaming you in everything, including the abuse.
  • Don't be Shy to Seek Help

    The above signs of an abusive relationship can help you to determine whether you are suffering from abuse. If you are in an abusive relationship, consider therapy for each partner.

    Group therapy may help the abusers to break through their denial, and recognize their dysfunctional behavior by seeing it in other members of the group.

    Group therapy may also help the abuser's partner to see things under a different light, as well as note their abuse-prone patterns in other members of the group.

    If the abuser is unwilling to seek help and change their own behavior, the couple needs to separate. It may be painful, but it's ultimately safer and better than allowing the abuse to continue.

    You will need to protect yourself after you leave, as the abuse may increase. You may want to stay with your family or friends until everything calms down.

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