Parent Child Relationships

Parent child relationships are the soil for the growing and the evolving personality of a new human being.

Relationships between the parents and children bear a particular pattern throughout different stages of childhood.

When the child is a baby, the parents satisfy the urges of their baby (feeds, holds, washes, dresses, etc.).

The baby learns that their needs will be taken care of by their parent, and the parent learns to anticipate and to fulfill their baby's expectations.

The parent learns to be a caregiver (the first main aspect), and soon the baby develops a strong bond with their primary caregivers.

During toddler hood parents become not just caregivers, but also teachers (the second main aspect), teaching their children important social behaviors.

As "caregivers" parents are responsive, and as "teachers" they are demanding.

The most important aspect that will influence the whole life of a child is just how well a parent maintains the golden middle between being responsive and demanding.

Research shows that:

  • Children with moderately demanding parents are more focused, skilled, self-reliant, and cheerful.

  • Children with overly demanding parents are more moody, fearful, and with drawn.

  • Children with overly permissive parents are lower in social responsibility, but usually more cheerful.
  • Remember you're the parent

    During elementary and middle school, the horizon of a child broadens, but the parent still remains the most important person (caregiver and teacher) in the child's life.

    At the time of the teenage years, children also start to strongly influence the parent child relationships, and may often want to "break free" from the authority of their parents.

    This is the time when the parents need to be especially careful with finding the golden middle between being responsive and demanding, in order to preserve a good bond with their child.

    Remember, you're the parent. You're the adult; your children are to follow your lead, not the other way around. You are the one with the most experience.

    Let your child know that you did not reach your adult age by being stupid.

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