Sister Trouble

Visitors Question:

2 years ago my first son was born. It was great and we received support and love from everyone. It was shortly after his birth that one of my sisters asked if we (my husband, new baby, and I) could take over caring for their 6 year old choc. lab. Everyone in the family loves this dog, so it felt like a no brainer.

We took him in, but I quickly realized that, perhaps, I am not a dog person. He showed aggression towards my son (in the form of snapping at his 8 month old head) and I lost all trust in him. He has NEVER touched my son since.

I slowly started becoming annoyed with anything and everything the dog did, especially when it involved running away right before I headed to work! I talked it over with my husband and he backed me in finding a new home for the dog.

At first, I was planning on asking my sister and her husband if they wanted him back. After much deliberation, I decided that they had given him away because he didn't fit into their lifestyle, so it probably wasn't a likely fit. I started a search for a new owner and when it seemed as though I had found one, I contacted my sister to tell her.

She turned the conversation around and I had a hard time being firm with her. Eventually it sounded as though she was going to take him back, even though I never presented it as an option. I had to call her back and tell her my feelings. This turned into an hour long conversation between her, her husband, myself and my husband.

We stood our ground and reiterated that a good home for the dog was with someone who has more time and attention to give him. My husband and I are very attached to our family and after 2 hours or so decided that instead of ripping the family apart, we should just give the dog back.

After the yo-yo ride that I put my sister through, however, she is not talking to me and so I can't find out if she still wants the dog back. I've called 3 times, left emails, and tried talking with her on Facebook, but she just ignores or leaves. I need to find a new home for the dog soon, though.

Our second child is due in 7 weeks. Should I wait for my sister to come around before I pursue another avenue for the dog, or should I continue my search? How do I amend this situation? I've never been in this kind of situation before.

Answer:
Sheeeesh! How much ya willin to pay for this answer, LOL. Well aaaaaalrighty then sis, no brainer huh? Your first mistake was to throw a six year old grown dog in the mix with a 2yr old. You should have had your sis visit with the dog every now and then to see how they mix.

Your 2nd mistake was deciding for your sister whether or not she and her husband wanted the dog back. You were right when you thought about asking them first.

Your 3rd mistake was calling your sis to tell her that you were geting rid of THEIR dog to another owner and wasn't even comtemplating on asking if they wanted the dog back.

Your sis is mad because you made the decision for her of not wanting and not being fit to care for the dog. And now you're desperate to get rid of him so you're willing to push the dog off on her and her husband. Hmmmmmm, I see it all clearly now. If I were her, I wouldn't talk to you either. I don't blame her.

Your sis let you have the dog in good faith. She didn't judge you when she gave the dog to you and she's the one that should've been picky because you have a 2yr old.

So your sis made a mistake too, by just dropping the dog on you not knowing whether or not that was the right thing to do. And then you had nerve to decide whether or not she's fit to have the dog back.

I'm sorry to tell you that your sis is giving you the middle finger for now and telling you indirectly to do what you want with the dog and leave her alone, PERIOD!. But hey, you ain't heard it from me. LOL. I wouldn't wait for sis to come around, I would just get rid of the dog.Whew! Move over sis, cause I feel like I just gave birth myself after all that, LOL.

I hope I've answered your question. Good luck and take care.

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Dec 16, 2009
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Sister Reply
by: Anonymous

I have an issue with people who have "money problems" but can afford to buy booze and cigarettes. By this I mean bottles of hard liquor in the freezer and both my sister and her husband are smokers. My sister and her husband couldn't feed the dog (her words) before we took him in. My husband and I both have full time jobs and so are in a better situation to offer food, vet services, etc. We just don't have the time to devote to such a large animal. I don't doubt that my sister loves the dog, or even that she would try her best to give him what he needs, but they haven't changed their job situation, so I can't think how their finances would be different. And if their finances aren't different, is it fair to drop a dog off in their laps? Also, when my sister and her husband gave us the dog, was it then never really our dog?

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