Visitors Ques: I have been dating a man now for 4 years and we have been engaged for 3. I am 51 and he is 52. I am legally divorced and have 2 daughters, one grown and one still at home with me.
He is legally separated and has no kids. He tells me that he cannot afford to get divorced due to the fact that in their agreement, he has to cover her on his insurance until she is eligible for Medicare, which is in 3 years as she is older than him and is unable to work because of a disease, he also pays her $2000 a month for alimony.
He is a wonderful man, he really is and has done so much for me and had introduced me to activities that I never even dreamed of trying, hunting, fishing, bowling.
He takes care of a beautiful home and yard, and truly is a keeper but recently told me that he does not know if he ever wants to get married again and that we could live together.
I just know he was burned pretty bad in this marriage but I do want to get married and we have planned it in a few years.
That's when my youngest will be done with school and his wife will be able to obtain Medicare, but now he acts like it is something that he no longer wants.
Am I wasting my time? I have a ring and he did propose but now he just seems more distant. We do live about 80 miles from each other so its not like we see each other a lot anyway. I am just confused and would love to expert advice!!!!
Thank you..
Answer: First I have a problem with him being married. I don't care how good he seems to be, the bottom line is that he's still married and attached to someone else, no matter what their situation is or how far apart in distance they are, the fact remains, he's married.
Someones already changing up about wanting to be married right? HUH? Okay, you guess a had a good time, everyone has good times, or most. Don't let the good times cloud your common sense and judgement just because you have a ring and all. Engagement rings can sometime keep people content and quiet.
Your cowboy is carrying big baggage. You're hoping when you should be fearing. You live 80 miles from each other which is considered a long distance relationship right? Hmmm, seems like you're answering some of your own questions.
If it was me, I'd try and lighten my load and look at this thing for what it is. The load WILL become lighter for somebody sooner or later. Is all according on who's going to be dropped first and it may be you. I hope I've given you something to start or end with.
All the best and good luck. Lemme know what you've decided. ;)