Changes

by Marni R.
(Long Island, NY, USA)

Visitors Story: I broke up with my boyfriend on Valentine's day of last year (2010). I was absolutely devastated.


He was my first love, my first sexual partner and my first boyfriend all in one. When we broke up, I took that night to cry hysterically.

I talked to my closest female friends, rehashing the entire thing until my mind (and mouth) were exhausted.

But come morning, my friends dragged me out of bed. My eyes were still red, and my skin was still puffy.

I refused to put on jeans, and embraced the sweet feel of baggy sweatpants. They would never leave me! But, throughout that day, my friends told me that since my life had changed, I ought to go with it.

So, that next day I went to the hair-salon. On a whim, I let the hairdresser pick out ANY haircut for me. She cut 10 inches off my hair, straightened it and gave me long bangs.

I then went and bought the prettiest outfit I could easily afford. I felt better because I was taking control of this new change, and "new life" without a man.

Over time though, you learn that superficial changes can only take you so far. So I started to learn about how it felt to be single, and how to revel in single-dom.

I loved it. I didn't need a man to make me happy, because I realized even before my (now) ex-boyfriend I WAS happy! And I deserve happiness.

My next step was to list why the relationship went into the pooper. Though time definitely helps the healing, the mental (or paper) list helped too.

After that, I could think about him without feelings of disdain because I knew we were better off not together.

The bottom line is: if you realize you're better off without that someone, then embrace that change and make it a part of your positive evolution. You'll become an even better person for it.

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